Lola
by LonelyNoMore
Summary: Song fic. This is a parody of the song Lola by The Kinks. It explores the true nature of the song...our favorite transvestite! Don't like, don't read! Please R&R!


Title: Lola

Author: ME, LonelyNoMore

Disclaimer: I don't own the lyrics to this awesome song by _The Kinks_, of course, nor do I own the characters in this! I just own the plot of a very twisted idea concocted one night after an afternoon with my mother, a large amount of alcohol, and then a fight with my husband, because I wish he were gay! The lyrics are the real ones, off of the kinks web site, and partially put on here to prove to my husband that this song was about a transvestite! The guys that used to get drunk and mumble this song, thinking it was about a girl! Heh!

Rating: R for adult situations and some language

_I met her in a club down in old Soho  
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola  
See-oh-el-aye cola  
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance  
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Lola  
El-oh-el-aye Lola la-la-la-la Lola_

All dressed up and ready to go, the professor quickly made his way down the halls of Hogwarts, out into the open air, and down into Hogsmeade, from there he apparated to his favorite little place in Soho. Upon entering he noticed the charming young gentleman sitting at the bar. Recognizing him, he slowly made his way over and asked him to dance, and when he asked her her name, the professor smiled, and in a thick velvety brown voice replied "Lola."

_Well I'm not the world's most physical guy  
But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine  
Oh my Lola la-la-la-la Lola  
Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand  
Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man  
Oh my Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola_

Lola was thoroughly enjoying the dance and grab Percy all the tighter. Percy Weasley was obviously confused, he knew he wasn't very strong, but this woman he found himself attracted to seemed to be able to break him in half, with just a mere hug. Percy was definitely a very intelligent boy, but he just couldn't understand, and he knew there was something very familiar about this woman's voice, so velvety…so smooth, so deep though, almost masculine. 'Too much to drink he thought.' When Lola excused herself to freshen up, Percy watched carefully. No blubbering wench ever got a second look from him. This person who walked like a woman, but talked like a man, was the perfect combination in his eyes.

_Well we drank champagne and danced all night  
Under electric candlelight  
She picked me up and sat me on her knee  
And said dear boy won't you come home with me  
Well I'm not the world's most passionate guy  
But when I looked in her eyes well I almost fell for my Lola _

Percy and Lola danced into the night. When they went for last round of drinks, the professor pulled Percy onto his lap, and with his smoothest voice he said, "Dear boy won't you come home with me?" Percy looked incredulous, he wasn't the most passionate guy, he'd never been with anyone before, but when he looked into her eyes, well he decided that he had almost fallen for this strange woman he met that night, and agreed.

_La-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola  
Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola_

The professor was starting to get nervous, this had been his secret for a very long time, and he didn't really think the parents would let him keep his job if they knew. Dumbledore the sick old coot had gotten a kick out of it, and had even caught him once, and told him he should make the change permanent, he would, but he still liked certain parts of his anatomy, and would never give them up, but he knew he couldn't be who he wanted to be all the time. So tonight was the night. He had his eye on this boy since he was a mere child, but since he graduated, had his own job and didn't live at home, this was the perfect time. He apparated them both back to the edge of Hogwarts grounds, and immediately Percy began to piece together everything about the night, and the person standing apprehensively beside him. She blindfolded him, and told him not to cheat until they got to her rooms. Percy knew the person to be of age, hell she looked older to him, but not a lot more, and not horribly so either with dark, refined aristocratic features. She must be a new teacher. But something was nagging the back of his head. 'If only I hadn't drank so much tonight!'

_I pushed her away  
I walked to the door  
I fell to the floor  
I got down on my knees  
Then I looked at her and she at me_

_Well that's the way that I want it to stay  
And I always want it to be that way for my Lola  
La-la-la-la Lola_

They entered the professor's room, and there was a familiar chill in the air. Lola reached up and pulled off Percy's blindfold. Percy looked around the room, and knew instantly what had been puzzling him; everything was familiar about his old crush…but dressed as a woman? Percy pushed his old professor away and ran to the door, he tripped over something and fell to the floor, he got on his knees and looked right up at him, and Lola smiled as she looked back at him with tears in her eyes. They stayed up all night talking about what happened, and what will be. They leaned in a shared a kiss that grew with passion, as they basked in the candle light, his professor looked up at him and smiled, and he decided that was the way he always wanted it to be. 'I always want it to be that way for my Lola.'

_Girls will be boys and boys will be girls  
It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola  
La-la-la-la Lola_

_Well I left home just a week before  
And I'd never ever kissed a woman before  
But Lola smiled and took me by the hand  
And said dear boy I'm gonna make you a man_

Percy moved his things in with his beloved Professor the week before. He had never even kissed a girl before, Lola just smiled back at him and took him by the hand and said "Dear boy I'm going to make you a man." Percy's brothers, Fred and George just laughed and sang out loud, "Well, girls will be boys, and boys will be girls, it's just a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world except for Lola, El- Oh- El- Aye, Lola." The twins were the closest in his family about understanding the whole thing, laughing, but understanding.

_Well I'm not the world's most masculine man  
But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man  
And so is Lola  
_

Percy was sitting up in their bed, basking in the afterglow of their first time having sex together with his lover's head on his lap. He thought to himself. 'He knew that he wasn't the most masculine man, quite a lot of people thought he was gay, and he wasn't sure himself, but he knew he was a man, and was glad he was, he paused to chuckle to himself, and so is Lola.'

_La-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola  
Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola_

Before Percy went to sleep he kissed his lover goodnight and whispered "Goodnight Severus Snape, thank you for making me so happy, I love you my Lola."

fin


End file.
